7 reasons babies cry and how to soothe them

Your baby is fully dependent on you. You provide her with the food, warmth and comfort she needs. When she cries, it's her way of communicating those needs and asking you for attention and care (NHS 2019).

It’s sometimes hard to work out which need your baby wants you to take care of. But as your baby grows she’ll learn other ways of communicating with you. For example, she’ll get better at eye contact, making noises and smiling.

In the meantime, here are some reasons why your baby may cry, and what you can try to soothe her.

I’m crying because I’m hungry

Hunger is one of the most common reasons why your baby will cry (NHS 2019), especially if she’s a newborn. The younger your baby is, the more likely it is that she’s hungry.

Your baby’s stomach is small and can’t hold very much. So it won’t take long before she needs another feed. If you’re breastfeeding, offer your breast, even if her last feed doesn’t seem that long ago. This is called feeding on demand, or responsive feeding. Your baby will let you know when she’s had enough, by coming off your breast in her own time, and seeming content and settled.

If you’re formula feeding, your baby may not need more milk for at least two hours after her last feed. Every baby is different, though. If your baby is consistently not finishing her feeds, she may prefer to drink formula in small amounts and often. In this case, you could try offering her another feed early.

Your baby may not stop crying immediately, but let her keep feeding if she wants to.

I‘m crying because I have colic

If your baby cries a lot, but is otherwise healthy, she may have colic (NICE 2017). She may become flushed and frustrated, and refuse your efforts to comfort her. She may clench her fists, draw up her knees or arch her back (NHS 2019, NICE 2017).

The exact cause of persistent crying isn’t clear. It’s so common in babies that many experts think it may simply be a normal developmental stage (NCSBS nd).

Other experts think colic may be associated with tummy problems, for example, an an allergy or intolerance to something in your breastmilk or a type of formula milk. Or it may be linked to wind (NHS 2018a), constipation or reflux, when your baby brings up feeds (NICE 2017).

If you think your baby is crying excessively, take her to your GP to rule out any other causes. Your doctor will check that nothing more serious is causing your baby’s distress.

Whatever the cause, living with a baby who regularly cries inconsolably can be very stressful. It’s important to look after yourself, too, so that you have the patience and energy to soothe your little one. There are things you can try to help you cope with colic.

Remember that this phase will pass: colic tends to peak at two months, and is usually gone by around three to four months (NCSBS nd).

I’m crying because I need to be held

Your baby needs lots of cuddling, physical contact and reassurance to comfort her (NCT nd). So her crying may mean that she just wants to be held.

Swaying and singing to her while you hold her will help distract and comfort her (HSE 2015, NICE 2017).

You could try babywearing with a sling or carrier to keep your baby close to you for longer periods (NCT nd). She loves the sound of your heartbeat, the warmth of your body and your smell.

I’m crying because I’m tired and need a rest

Your baby may find it hard to get to sleep, particularly if she’s over-tired.

The younger your baby is, the more subtle her sleep cues are, so it may take you a few weeks to recognise the signs. Fussing and crying at the slightest thing, staring blankly into space, and being quiet and still are just some ways in which your baby tells you she needs some shut eye (HSE 2015).

Lots of attention from doting visitors may overstimulate your baby and make it hard for her to sleep, as can too much rocking and singing (NHS 2019). Try taking her to a quiet room before bed to help her calm down and switch off.

I’m crying because I’m too cold or too hot

You can check whether your baby is too hot or too cold by feeling her tummy or the back of her neck. Don’t be guided by the temperature of her hands or feet. It’s normal for them to feel colder than the rest of her body (Red Nose 2018).

If you can, keep the temperature of your baby’s room at a comfortable temperature. Place her down to sleep on her back with her feet at the end of the cot. That way she can’t wriggle too far down under the blankets and become too hot (Red Nose 2018).

Take care not to overdress your baby, or she may become overheated. As a general rule, she needs to wear one more layer of clothing than you to be comfortable (NCT nd).

Use sheets and cellular blankets as bedding in your baby’s cot or bassinette. If her tummy feels too hot, remove a blanket or layer, and if it feels cold, simply add one (Red Nose 2018). If you’re using a sleeping bag, make sure it’s the right tog for the room temperature and the correct size for your baby.

I’m crying because I need my nappy changed

Your baby may protest if she has a wet or dirty nappy (HSE 2015). Some babies don’t mind unless their skin feels irritated.

If your baby doesn’t like having her nappy changed, it may be because of the strange feeling of cold air on her skin. After a week or so, you’ll probably be a pro at quick nappy changes. Otherwise, distracting your baby with a song, a toy or a mobile she can look at during changes may work well.

I’m crying because I don’t feel well

If your baby’s unwell, she’ll probably cry in a different tone from the one you’re used to. It may be weaker, more urgent, continuous or high-pitched (HSE 2015, NHS 2017). If she usually cries a lot but has become unusually quiet, this may also be a sign that she’s not well (NHS 2017). Find out when to call the doctor for your sick baby.

Teething may also cause your baby to be more irritable and restless than usual in the week before a new tooth comes through (DHSV 2014). Learn the other signs of teething to look out for.

Nobody knows your baby as well as you do. If you feel that something’s not right, trust your instincts and call your GP, midwife or child health nurse. You can also call HealthDirect on 1800 022 222 to speak to a registered nurse for free. HealthDirect is open 24 hours a day. Health professionals will always take your concerns seriously.

Call your doctor straight away if your baby is crying constantly even though she usually doesn’t and you can’t soothe or distract her, or if her cry doesn’t sound like her normal cry (NHS 2017).

If your baby has difficulty breathing through her crying, call 000 for advice immediately or take her to the nearest hospital emergency department (NHS 2018a).

My baby’s still crying. How can I soothe her?

As you gradually get to know your baby’s personality, you’ll learn which techniques work best for her. If a cuddle or a feed doesn’t do the job, these suggestions may help:

Play a constant sound
In your uterus (womb), your baby could hear the beat of your heart. She probably enjoys being held close to you now because your heartbeat is so familiar.

Other noises mimic the sounds she’ll have heard in your uterus. The repetitive noise of a vacuum cleaner, washing machine or hairdryer may help lull your baby to sleep (NICE 2017).

White noise may also help soothe your baby. Download an app to your phone, or buy a toy that plays a range of sounds, from ocean waves to raindrops.

Rock and sway your baby
Most babies love to be gently rocked. You could rock your baby:

• in your arms while you walk around
• in a rocking chair
• in a baby swing

You could also try taking her for a ride in your car or for a walk in her pram (NICE 2017).

Try a massage or tummy rub
Using unscented massage oils or cream specially formulated for babies, gently rub your baby’s back or tummy in a clockwise direction (HSE 2015).

Massaging your baby’s tummy can help with her digestion, and your touch will help soothe and comfort her. Regular massage may help your baby cry and fuss less (Bennett et al 2013, Underdown et al 2010). The best time for massage is when your baby is settled and alert. If she’s crying during the massage, she's telling you she's had enough, so stop and give her a cuddle.

Watch our calming massage video for babies.

Try a different feeding position
Some babies cry during or after feeds (NHS 2019). If you're breastfeeding, you may find that changing your position helps her latch on comfortably and feed calmly, without crying or fussing (NHS 2019). Ask your child health nurse or breastfeeding counsellor to check your positioning.

If your breastfed or bottle-fed baby seems to have painful wind during feeds, she may prefer to feed in a more upright position (NICE 2017).

Burp your baby after a feed by holding her against your shoulder and gently patting or rubbing her back (NHS 2018b). If your baby cries straight after a feed though, she may still be hungry (NHMRC 2012), so offer her your other breast, or more expressed breastmilk or formula milk.

Let her suck on something
For some babies, the need to suck is very strong. If you're breastfeeding, you could let your baby suckle your breast for comfort. Alternatively, let her suck on your clean finger or knuckle.

You could offer her a dummy, if you think it may help her. If you’re breastfeeding, though, try to wait until she’s at least four weeks old, when breastfeeding is well-established (NHMRC 2012).

Give her a warm bath
A soothing bath may help your baby calm down (NHS 2019, NICE 2017). Check the water temperature before placing her in the bath. It should be about 37 to 38 degrees C (AWHONN 2013). If you don't have a thermometer, dip your elbow into the water. It should feel neither hot nor cold.

Bear in mind that a bath may also make her cry more. Not all babies enjoy the sensation of being in water. In time, you'll get to know your baby's likes and dislikes.

What should I do if nothing seems to help?

It’s normal for babies to cry, so try not to blame yourself if your baby simply won't be soothed.

Your baby may just naturally cry a lot in the early weeks. Crying tends to peak at around two months, and usually starts to ease off after that (Wolke 2017). But in the meantime, it's likely to make you and your partner stressed and unhappy at times. If your baby's resisting every effort to calm her down, you may feel rejected and frustrated (St James-Roberts 2012).

Try to remember that you’re not the cause of her crying (St James-Roberts 2012). If you've met your baby's immediate needs and tried everything you can to calm her, it's time to take care of yourself:

• Put your baby in her cot and let her cry for a few minutes out of your range of hearing. Take deep breaths and let yourself relax for a moment or two.
• If you and your baby are both upset and you've tried everything, call a friend or relative for support. Give yourself a break and let someone else take over for a while.
• Find a local support group or parent-and-baby group. That way you can meet other new parents in the same situation and offer each other moral support. Your child health nurse may know of some groups in your area.
• Talk to your child health nurse or GP about coping strategies before everything gets too much. Don't let things build up, as it could make things harder for you and your baby.
• Call a helpline, such as the government’s Pregnancy, Birth and Baby Helpline on 1800 882 436 for advice and support.

This crying is probably just a phase. It’s very common and it will pass (St James-Roberts 2012). As your baby grows, she'll learn new ways of communicating her needs to you. And when this happens, the excessive crying will soon stop.

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